Showing posts with label grow up. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grow up. Show all posts

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Day 61

A couple Sundays ago, I knew something had changed.

I stayed behind like I normally have the last few months while the congregation went to the table, but this day I felt a little push to join them.  I remained behind, but was curious as to this new feeling in my heart.

It was Tuesday that I understood.

I had walked into the back office at work when I heard his voice.

In the beginning of our time together, his presence lit me like a fire.  That fire quickly died, leaving a tarnished stain on my heart.  His later visits would invoke bitterness and a deep ache.  I grew to look forward to his absence and beyond his occasional, fleeting presence.

And there he stood.  Like the charmer he is, my coworkers were captivated and completely smitten with him.

And me?

I stood in the background and smiled.

I felt nothing.


No anger over his departure.  No sadness over our past.  No giddiness at his visit.  Nothing.

Free, was all I could think.  Free!

Me—the girl who had changed, begged, pleaded, hoped, perished, and settled—that me was free.

And every day I find more value in life—in me.  Because God has taken these 61 days and He’s taken me from that dark place and into the light, where I can bloom, where I can be free, where I can love Him, and feel His love.

And know that I am worth it.  I am worth love.  And because of that love, forgiveness comes.

“…When you come to the cross, you realize that Christ has died for what you have done…but you also realize that Christ has died for what’s been done to you.  Just as powerful as His death was for what you have done is the power of His death for what has been done to you.  So the New Testament says, ‘Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, and forgive each other just as God in Christ has forgiven you...’  This does not say, ‘Just going to excuse that’…Forgiveness does not equal excusing.  Forgiveness is a realization that Christ died for my sins and your sins and some of your sins really hurt me bad, but I’m choosing to forgive you, and allow judgment to be handled by God.  Now if there’s anything that needs to be settled between you and God I’m trusting God is going to settle it, and I’m not going to spend the rest of my life holding hostility and bitterness, and unforgiveness against you, because I want to meet someone…I want to be able to walk into my relationship…and say, by the power of the cross and grace of God, I am free from that.”—Louie Giglio, Passion City Church