Rewatching the sermon series that started it all, North Point's Andy Stanley's The New Rules for Love, Sex & Dating. And I’m beginning to think, just like Bryan
says there are books that he chooses to read once a year, it’s in
my best interest to remind myself the values, direction, and suggestions Andy
shares.
It’s hard to believe almost eight months have passed. It’s been an amazing time. Below are quotes from the sermons that began changing my
heart. They are packed full of
wisdom, so these singular quotes don’t do them justice, but maybe it’ll offer an inkling of
what stirred the fire in my heart.
·
Part 1, The Right Person Myth:
She grew up in a religious home...She came to Atlanta and immersed herself in
the singles dating culture...She's at this gathering, and...she met this
guy. And said this guy was, like, the
total package. The looks, the job, the
personality. As she began to listen to
him talk, it was apparent he was Christian.
And not only was he a Christian, he was figuring out and committed to
living out his faith in his job, living out his faith in his relationships, living out his faith in his dating
relationships...Mature, good looking, and as she talked to him it brought
back memories of some of the things she
put on the backburner...She left that party, just wow...this
guy, this guy, this guy...she goes home, and she starts telling her mom about
this guy, and she's going on and on about how good-looking is he, and how he's
Christian...and she said that her mother turned to her and said, "Sweetheart, the problem is, a guy like that is not looking for a girl like
you." She said she literally fell
to the floor in a puddle of tears, and she cried and she cried and she cried,
because she knew her mom was absolutely right. She said that was a defining
moment for her as a single person. A defining moment where you know what, she's
right...that guy that I'm looking for...he's not looking for someone like
me. In that moment, she decided life
change, priorities changing, values changing, friendships changing. I'm going a different direction with my life.
·
Part 2, Gentleman's Club:
Jesus came along, He got it all started.
He got all those guys together and He said...I'm going to tell you
something new. John, get your pen
out. Now here it is, write this
down. New command, love one
another—yeah, you in the back? Even the
women? Even the women, there's no difference. You talking about romantic love? Not like a romantic love, but love one
another as I have loved you...you're supposed to love one another. Even the
girls? Yeah, shut up, even the
girls. I want you to look around this room,
you have slaves, free people, you got all these people. When you get together I want you to give equal
love, concern, honor and respect to each other regardless of if they're slave,
free, male, or female...all...Love one another as I have loved you. By this the rest of the world will know that
you're my follower...that you have love for one another. By this, by the fact that you give this kind
of honor and esteem to people regardless of their sex and regardless
background, will tell the world, uh oh, something new is going on, by this one
thing, people will know you're my follower.
That you love one another. Men, do
you know what that means? Every single
woman you are ever eyeball to eyeball with, in the office, in your studio, where
you work, where you play, the neighborhood association, your mother-in-law,
your wife's sister...every woman you’re eyeball to eyeball with, your Savior,
who died for you, said, oh, by the way here's how I want you to treat her—I
want you to love her like I love you...every time you're eyeball to eyeball
with a woman you are looking at someone who is not only made in the image of
God, you are looking at someone for whom Jesus Christ gave His life...be
careful how you treat her.
·
Part 3, Designer Sex:
Wait a minute, nobody's uniting, we're just having sex. This little Greek word you've used here,
Paul, this means like glue, like superglue, like permanent, like bonding, like
intertwine, like scrambled eggs, like eggs and grit, like can't be sorted out,
like permanent. When I went down to the
temple to have sex with the prostitute, I wasn't uniting with anybody...it was
just a physical one-time thing. I paid
her a fee, we had a little religious ceremony, a little private thing, and I'm
back, nobody's uniting with anybody.
Paul's over there going, 'That's because you don't understand sex—that
when you have sex with a person there is a sense of permanence. You become one with that person.' One?
I didn't even know his name!
Again it was Spring Break, I wasn't trying to become one! I was just kind of doing what my girlfriends
did. And Paul said, 'See that's the
thing, you don't know. Nobody told
you. It's not just physical.' It's as deep, as soullish, and as personal as
anything imaginable and God designed it that way, and you were designed to
become one with one and when you continue to become one with person after
person after person you damage your intimacy factor...you disconnect sex what
it was intended for...and ladies, over time, you will become numb, and you will
wonder why your husband can't awaken in you that which you expected.
·
Part 4, If I Were You:
Every Saturday, in this city and cities all around, single people make promises
that they can’t keep. They mean to, it’s
just that they make promises they are not prepared to keep. Three, four weeks, or three or four months in,
they realize, I know this is what I said, but this is hard, I really did mean
it. I meant it when I said it. And…people get married and make vows they can’t
fulfill, they just aren’t prepared. And
the reason they aren’t prepared is, when it comes to relationships promises are
no substitute for preparation. If you’ve
ever entered a long distance race, you know all about this. It’s one thing to sign up for the race, it’s
another thing to prepare for it. What
determines if you finish the race…it’s whether or not you’ve prepared…When it
comes to relationships, people think, ‘I can promise my way past my lack of
preparation.’ Just because you say I do
doesn’t make you able…Just because you say I do doesn’t make you capable…it
only makes you accountable…and when you’re accountable for something you’re not
capable of doing, it makes you miserable.
I’m not usually that person who pushes things, but,
seriously, this sermon series is one of the best things we young singles can
hear. I strongly encourage anyone
reading this to invest some time and listen to the series. I’m eight months in—being single hasn’t
killed me, much to everybody’s disbelief.
I am more full, more satisfied, more focused on Christ than I have ever
been. Doubt me? There’s only one way to find out for yourself…
And Andy has four words for us:
