As I admired the sky sparsely peppered with feathered
clouds, sadness plucked at my heart and thankfulness lapped at its hinges.
A week from today my one year challenge will be over. This chapter will come to an end, leaving
another to begin.
This portion of my life is a difficult one. Probably the most difficult of all my years. My father's ailing health. The distance between where I am and where I
want to be. Fading friendships. Failing friendships. Friendships that never begin. Overwhelmed by responsibilities within a
calling for which I'm not sure I am ready.
Struggling to be a leader, a lover, a mother, and sister. A car engine that refuses to be healthy. Not to mention the problems of the world. A flooded New Orleans. A pain-stricken economy. A new natural disaster stealing lives and
well-being. The world itself seems to be
imploding.
When you become a believer the problems of the world and
every day personal struggles do not simply melt away.
Christians have it no easier than any other religion, no
easier than atheists. Our lives are
filled with equal hardships. It's not
suddenly that we believe in God and the Christ who gave His life for us and
we're rewarded with plentiful bounties here on earth where suddenly our
relationships are perfect, we're promoted at work, or that Bentley we've always
wanted sits in our drive-way.
No, to become a believer means something deeper. And I have spent this year seeking.
This wasn't just a dating fast. This wasn't just me struggling to be single. This was a journey of purpose, seeking what
is true love and life everlasting.
I have looked through the world with the eyes of a soul
who knows that at the end of this life, at the end of this world, there is a
God who loves us perfectly and has plans for us. Plans for us to sit beside Him. Plans for no more pain, no more suffering.
Life is not to be lived under the reigns of SINGLE or
MARRIED.
But HIS.
Our short lives are lived out under the scope of
eternity, and while we're here, it's a balance of mattering the least, but of
what we do mattering the most.
My heart has changed eternally and no record could
adequately share what is now His or all I have learned.
Only of this am I sure, that when one fasts from that on
earth which holds the most meaning, they are sure to never be the same.
