All day had been
bad—all week had been bad. On the verge of an emotional breakdown, I
wanted to crumble. I wanted to throw in
my heels and get back into my car and drive home.
But I didn’t.
Instead I walked
through the door of a house on Rozelle Street, and instantly melted.
A rainbow of rose
petals layered the floor, dim lighting from floating candles shadowed the room,
and faces of beautiful young women surrounded me. I recognized many of the women from church,
and scattered in between them were men—not just men, but men who had dressed
themselves in the robes of servants for the night in honor of Valentine's Day. Brothers serving their sisters.
Dinner was the
first part of the evening. The men
brought our meals to us as we talked, and then cleared our plates as we
finished. After a dessert of cheesecake
squares, we were escorted outside. Limos
awaited. We were taken for a short
cruise around town while the men set up for what was to come next.
The limos headed
downtown. It was as the Memphis bridge
came into focus that I sat quietly, drinking in the earlier moments and
savoring the lights before me. I had
never seen the bridge like this, and I knew I would never again see it in this
way. This night was one never to be recreated.
On our arrival back, I still felt dazed, overwhelmed, by the complete surrender of the
men. Quiet, chivalrous, attentive, it
was a world I had never seen and never thought I would experience while here on
earth.
The men took our
coats as we filed back into the house.
When we walked in, we were met with a dance floor, which is where we spent the rest of night.
Each act so deeply
appreciated and treasured, I think all the women were grateful. And as we danced the last dance, my heart
overflowing with joy and wonder, I could not escape the deep feeling of
gratitude. For the men, for God who had
created them, and for the women whose hearts were as light as mine.
It was an amazing
evening, and a moment in time I will treasure always.
I wrote this two months ago after an unforgettable night. Words scribbled on the back of a church bulletin, I wanted to remember every moment.
Rereading this, it feels as if it was just yesterday. It is so vivid in my mind how the evening unwound. I felt so blessed and so thankful. I have some amazing brothers in Christ, and I
am so grateful to God for sharing them with me—for letting me experience love
in such a pure way.
It took a long time to get here, to a point where I
stopped objectifying men and started trusting them—trusting in their love for God—where six months ago, I didn’t. I didn’t want to and I didn’t think any
man was worth trusting. I didn’t expect
to ever be able to trust them. And here
I am now, being loved and loving them as my brothers.
Each day I spend with a guy friend, I am encouraged. I am encouraged by him, and by how God is
opening my heart. I get to see God
working in their lives, in their hearts.
I get to see how they treat other women, other men. I get to be loved with no ulterior motives,
and I get to love without ulterior motives.
I think that’s why I was so scared to be single. I used to equate special moments as only being possible
being in love, and I thought
being single meant that special couldn’t
exist—that I’d be missing out.
But every day He’s reminding that “special” exists
anywhere. In small moments just as in
big moments. In any friendship. In any place.
At any time.
There’s a possibility to love in every moment,
thanks to Christ. All I have to do is
seize the opportunity, and know that the only way I will miss out is if I surrender to missing out. It has nothing to do with being single or not.
And because of that, "single" isn’t so scary anymore. Every day is a new adventure. And, actually, I have more love today than I've had in all my
years to dating. Thanks be to God for
His hand in my life, opening my heart, creating friendships, and creating
within His children hearts for Him.
Though, let me not deceive you, these 177 days have been trying and difficult. But also, more importantly, oh so blessed. The rewards far outweigh the trials, and continue to do so.
And something tells me the best
is still yet to come.
Let brotherly love continue (Hebrews 13:1).
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love
covers a multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8).
