My mind is in a few different places tonight, so you know
the routine. Bullets!
·
Dirty
Paws Food, music, dogs. As long as you know those things about me, we’re
pretty much best friends. Went to Shelby Farms yesterday where the pups were able to stretch their legs, run a few miles,
and swim endlessly in the lakes. It’s
such an amazing feeling to see them playing, and to know they’re happy. Cheeyo tried his best to swim out into the
middle of the lake, and he almost humped a puppy. Yeah, that’s my boy. Paris chased a greyhound and made friends
with some strangers, and when I got home I had two tired dogs. I love them, and I realized it a little bit
more when I came home to an empty apartment after dropping them off to spend time with their uncles. (Thanks,
guys!) It felt weird to not have them
around and definitely made me appreciate them all the more.
·
Single
Like Kraft Cheese Guy tried to add
me on Facebook again. I thought not saying no to a date and avoiding him altogether was the nicest way to say
no. An obvious way. I don’t know if
God’s pushing me for a response or if this is just the enemy trying to get into
my head. Old words be spoken, “See? No Christian guy would ever want you. Just settle for this guy.” NO! I have no desire to settle. No desire to patronize anyone. No desire to waste anyone’s time. I am really enjoying being single right now—which
is a good thing, because I may be single forever—but I’m definitely not going
backwards here. Holding out and holding
up against the mind-attacks.
·
Donalded On the way home from dinner tonight, I
thought I saw him moving along the sidewalk on Highland with his motorized
wheel chair. I’ve been praying to God
about volunteering somewhere with the homeless, and seeing who I thought was
Donald, set a deeper ache in my heart. I
wanted to pull over, to see if it was him, and talk to him, but I didn’t. And I watched him fade away in my review and
remembered how desperate the longing was then to help others after meeting him. Let that flood into my “now” and be a
motivator to find a place to help, God.
·
Anger
Management Initial reaction? Slam on my brakes. He was tailgating so close I couldn’t see the
hood of his car. Fury. Wrath.
I wanted to hurt him. But
instead, as we drove off Appling I slowed and veered to the right to let him
pass, and to my surprise, he slowed down, too.
Head to head, he started yelling at me.
And for the first time in my life, I yelled back. You aren’t going to endanger my life and then yell at me like I did something wrong. I make note of this because this is unlike
me, the girl who shrinks in fear at attention—especially angry attention—from strangers. For the first time, I felt no fear, I didn’t
dodge eye contact, and I yelled back. I
know, not very smart, but definitely different from the insecure, fearful Jamie
that I’m used to, and so that’s the only reason I’m noting it now. People talk about LA traffic—shoo, I didn’t
have road rage until I moved here. Memphis
can’t drive for anything.
·
Seventeen
Days July 1st I’ll turn 27. I’ve been saying I’m 27 since January now, so
I don’t think it’ll really be a big deal.
Months ago I knew my birthday wasn’t going to be spent in a special
way. When the new work schedule came out
months ago, I was given every first Saturday of the month. So I work the Saturday of my birthday
weekend. I also volunteer in the
children’s ministry at church. When I
was given my schedule there, I was given the first Sunday of the month. So I knew months ago I wouldn’t be doing
anything the weekend of my birthday. I
think 27 will pass by quietly, and I’m okay with that. I’m okay with the focus not being on me. Happy early birthday, Liv Tyler, Pamela Anderson, Princess Di, and Missy Elliott!
·
Friendships Being single has definitely given me the
opportunity to be friends with more people, both guys and girls. I have more time, more energy, more freedom
to be friends with whoever God chooses to put in my life. And I can’t emphasize
enough how much I’m enjoying this part of my life. I get to spend time with so many people, getting
to know them for who they are. And this
is just something for which I am thankful.
I look forward to being married one day, sure—I spent time with a
married friend couple tonight and experienced the joy firsthand, er, secondhand
or whatever—and I’m excited that I may have a husband one day. But for
right now, I’m single, not ready to mingle, and just enjoying the company that
surrounds me.
