And for the morning, this weather matched my mood.
I don’t know when it turned around, but it did. Eventually the sun came out from behind the
rain and I felt happy.
I drove home with the windows down, Natalie Imbruglia
playing on the radio. (It would have
been rap instead, but gave that up for Lent!)
I have seen so much of God in my life lately. In just a matter of two weeks He’s amplified
my life. He’s brought back people with
whom I haven’t spoken in months, He’s opened doors to new relationships, and
He’s helped guide me through my introspective journey to bettering myself.
I haven’t been writing as much, and I promise it’s not
because I’m not learning. If anything,
it’s because I’m learning too much and can’t keep track of the lessons.
I tried to sort through them in my head, but I couldn’t
keep grounded, and on the drive home I decided to take the dogs to the park to
show them I love them and to enjoy the beautiful sky the Lord had made. Because how often do I enjoy the sunsets He
paints? Rarely. And so today was a day meant for that.
The park was quiet, and why wouldn’t it be? What idiot takes their dogs to the park after
a downpour to get muddy? Hah. That would be me! We had the entire stretch of land to
ourselves. And it was nice.
I drank in the air, admired the quiet lakes, watched happily as Paris rigorously fetched wood and Cheeyo ran haphazardly in all directions. They seemed happy. And I was happy just to be a part of their innocent fun while all the while God’s creation laced the background of our afternoon fun.
Many times I stopped to watch the horizon. And I looked up to the clouds. Perfectly painted were the whites and purples
and yellows. It was a beautiful sight,
and I wondered how I could have ever denied God’s existence.
His beauty blanketed me with His peace. I felt so loved as the majesties of his art
watched me, dancing above. How often
would I have this opportunity?
Fresh grass, a silent park…a moment with God in God’s creation.
I came home and reflected on the week I had.
I have no idea what is in store for me these next months, but I know what follows next will
continue to be very different than last year. This year, I'd like to think I'm surrendered to the will of God. Last year was spent divided between His will and mine. But talking to a friend on Thursday I was
reminded that God’s will is inevitable.
We can choose to fight it, learn the hard way, or we can surrender. Either way, God’s will prevails. And what reassurance there is in that.
And Gideon said, "Alas, O Lord, God!
For now I have seen the angel of the Lord face to face." But the
Lord said to him, "Peace be to you. Do not fear; you shall not die."
Then Gideon built an altar there to the Lord and called it, The Lord is
Peace. To this day it still stands in Ophrah, which belongs to the
Abiezrites (Judges 6:22-24).
On my heart to-do list:
Value myself through God’s eyes
Not be terrified of men
Be open to marriage
