Here I stand, amazed and intrigued by God's work in my heart.
Through a series of events today, a final thought flashed in my mind:
I'm content.
Oh, snap. What?
I'm content being single.
I'm content not searching out a husband.
I'm content being free from my past of dependency.
I content seeking out God's will.
No, not just content...elated and joyous!
I thought of the many people who are in my life today and just felt grateful for their presence. Each and every one like a puzzle piece suited to my heart.
Praise Jesus for these people. Praise God for his unwavering love. How this change has occurred in me I do not know. All I know is that it has, and, while I may want a husband, it does not rule over me anymore.
Not like it did where I wept for weeks over a lost relationship. Not like it did when I gave myself to men for attention. Not like it did when how I dressed, what I said, where I went depended on who of the opposite sex was going to be there for me to flirt with....
Nooooo. And I just can't explain the freedom in that! I can't say in words how much He has changed me. I can't say how thankful and grateful and indebted I am to Him for ALL He has done.
And I pray the same for my other single women friends. I wish that they too would know the joy of being single and standing with Christ. I wish that while that ache may remain that they find satisfaction in life as is.
I stand on the other side, saying it is possible. It is plausible. It is more than what I can express in words.
And if we're never meant to marry, women among me and afar, I pray that God blesses you with a passion that fulfills and compels your compassionate heart. I pray that you are so filled by Him that the desiring of a husband is but a mere afterthought. I pray that whatever your niche...children, seniors, minorities, continents, callings...I pray that your hearts aches fully for those causes and is driven by the desire to bring glory to Him. I pray past relationships play no part except reconciliation and recovery. I hope hearts bear witness to those around you that there is joy in NOT SETTLING. I pray that women, in a sisterhood, band together and know that sitting on a porch in rocking chair with lemon pepper wings and a freeze cup with a best friend or god-child is the culmination of a life well lived and a God well served, where He can look back and say, "I could ask nothing more from you, My child. I adore you and love you."
