Earlier this week on Twitter I prayed for
discomfort. God answered that one fast. Yup.
Dis-ease. I don’t like to be disappointed, but it
happened today. I hate disappointing others, but that happened today, too. Now I’m sitting here, feeling stressed out
and angry. I just want to lash out, but
I don’t, but I do, but I don’t.
Uuuuuuuuuuuuuugh.
White chocolate
mocha. The day started out great,
with me having coffee with Leonard. Coolest
guy ever. Even saved my life from an
umbrella. He’s been really encouraging
during this healing process. He knows
some of my story and where my heart is hurting and has done his
best to be a friend to me. It was nice to be able to talk and get to know him better. Thank you for the coffee, Leonard! :) Next round is mine.
Under
construction. With disappointment on
my mind, I am going to acknowledge three things at which I am terrible. Remembering anything, returning text messages and talking on the phone. I hate talking
on the phone with a passion. At times I
can handle it when conversations are short, but I think my aunt has traumatized
me forever. When I was in middle school
she kept me on the phone for five hours
talking about nothing three times a week, maybe more. How do you talk about nothing for five
hours?! I have no idea. And I don’t care to find out. Buuuuut I need
to talk on the phone. I know
that. I have friends I can't just sit down and grab coffee with... And text messages—I am so bad
about looking at my phone, intending to respond, and then my attention gets
drawn elsewhere—at work, or shopping, or eating—and I just forget. Which goes hand in hand with my terrible
memory. I can remember some things
perfectly, and other things it’s like you may as well have never told me at
all.
Something I love? Thrift store shopping. It’s like looking through an eternity of
memories when I’m in a thrift store. All
the old things which were, at some point, treasured. And I’ve found some great treasures in my
expeditions. In fact, I’ve gotten more
compliments on clothes I’ve bought from Goodwill than I have from Target. Annnnd I just discovered that each store has
a RELIGIOUS section for books. Who knew? I didn’t!
John Piper’s The Dangerous Duty of Delight, Peace for a Woman’s Soul (thank You, God, yes, I will be needing this), Max
Lucado’s The Greatest Moments in the Life of Christ, and Daniel Partner’s Hymns of God’s Love were among my purchases today.
Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh. Still stressed. Looking forward to tomorrow night. Maybe I’ll feel better by then. For now, I’m going to bed.
