I noticed him as soon as I walked in.
He was on the other side of the room, behind the counter,
maybe looking at inventory.
I paid him little mind as I scoured the shelves. I was casual and seemingly disinterested as I
tried on hats. His coworker walked up
beside me and gently started placing on my head different hats he liked.
At some point, I began to walk around the store again,
and there he was, suddenly beside me.
Kevin.
Kevin was charming, to say the least. We bonded right away, him having been born in
San Francisco. He placed a few different
pieces on my head, his hands gingerly shifting the beautiful fabric into
place. His eyes remained locked on mine,
sending my heart into a flutter.
As we talked it became obvious he wasn’t saved, though
this changed nothing about the butterflies, unwilling to depart from their
place in my stomach. His hand met the
small of my back as he led me to the mirror, which only incited the stirring
further.
This afternoon made me think about a few things:
·
Flirting doesn’t change. Even if you don’t date for a year. No worries there.
·
Those moments I feel butterflies, I hold onto
them. I think of my future husband. If a stranger can incite a mere fluttering of
the heart, how much more will they spring forth when he comes along? There is so much I’m saving for him. So much for which my heart is excited. Flirting is always a reminder to be steadfast
in my waiting and longing for that which I long and wait is going to be a gift
directly from Our Father.
·
It’s okay to long for something in a healthy
way. It keeps the heart alight and
dependent on Christ.
·
None of the men who have flirted with me have
asked me for my number or more time together.
This has been a blessing. God is
giving me practice right now. I honored
Him in my words and actions that afternoon, something I’m not known to do when
it comes to dating or pre-dating. It is
important to note that I did not pursue. I also did not prolong the conversation. Two things at which I am terrible when it
comes to dating. I tend to initiate and
try to keep the conversation flowing in hopes that I may urge him to ask me
out. No, instead I let him do it. And that’s how it’s going to be from now
on. I refuse to ever pursue a man
again. I will respond, but never
chase. He is going to be the
leader. The man who is strong enough and
determine enough to approach me, that’s who will have me. Because I truly have found that if he doesn’t
do it in the beginning, he’s not going to do, period.
·
When it comes to dating, it’s almost like buying
a car. You have to be willing to walk
away. If a man doesn’t pursue you and
you’re handing him all the right signals, he doesn’t want to date you. (And it may have nothing to do with you, keep
that in mind. We’re all going through our own things.) And if you ask him out, you’re doing two
things: you’re pushing something that’s not meant to be, and you’re chasing
him. And men tend to not appreciate the
gifts handed to them—actually, none of us do.
They like being leaders, being the pursuer, and doing the chasing. Don’t give in to your wants and ask a man
out. Don’t do it. A man who wants you will not let you walk
away. Of this I am sure. And if he lets you walk away, walk away. Be ready to trust God, even if your heart is
tempting you to pursue.
When (and if) I begin dating again, it is going to look
very different. It already looks very
different. I look forward to how I date
being different. Christ as the
center. Christ has my heart. And it is going to be an intentional man who
receives His daughter—a daughter who has determined her ways in the way of
waiting and obedience and honor.
Wait for the Lord;
be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord! Psalm 27:14
