Let him be a man
who desires to pursue in spite of my shy nature.
I have faith that God can use
what we think is a personality blip for His glory and for our good.
Never have I liked being the
center of attention. Instead, a comfy wall
offers more comfort. To survive school,
I trained myself to be unheard and unseen, resting into the backdrop in the
lives of others.
So this is why it must send me
into shock when, from across a crowded room, an attractive single man notices
me.
A smile sends me into a panic.
A wave flushes my cheek with
color.
And conversation makes my heart
palpitate as if I just sprinted a mile.
My motor functions fail and I
stare blankly in response or dart away into another grocery aisle in avoidance.
I cannot help but wonder if
this shyness is God's cloaking, for what man will take notice of me, a shadow?
He who pursues will have to
have a heart of determination and an eye set to find me.
His way will be hedged up,
fortitude his friend. To pursue that
which seems unpursuable, one must desire to invest, for no one invests lightly. A lackadaisical investment does not exist as
the word itself calls for true interest, energy, time, and passion.
A man interested in an easy
quest will learn all too quickly I'm not what he wants. And for that I'm thankful.
