She set up the entire event by herself.
She set up every event
by herself.
She is amazing in this way.
Instead of complaining about lack of friends and friends
who failed to step up, she just did it.
The bridal shower.
The bachelorette party. The
wedding reception.
She handled herself with grace and humor.
I can’t say I would’ve done the same. Maybe I would’ve cursed the friends who RVSP’d
‘yes’ and went to Redbirds game instead.
I may have cried when I spent days planning a shower and then that
friend who promised she’d be there couldn’t even call the day of to offer
regrets. I would’ve cried. I would’ve confronted. I would’ve collapsed.
But not her.
And last night, when the last of the parties was over, I
stayed to clean with her. Friendship is
synonymous with sacrifice, though I think more people choose to associate it
only with forgiveness. You sacrifice
identities like pride and feelings of resentment. You sacrifice your first choice for a second. You sacrifice your time and your energy. You get there fifteen minutes early and you
stay fifteen minutes late, if you’re able.
And as I started stacking chairs, cleaning in my nice
summer dress and heels, I saw her lifelong best friend (and said friend’s fiancé)
cleaning beside me.
In her new dress and new cardigan, she shifted comfort to
the wayside, and stayed behind to clean up the hall. Her fiancé swept, cleared the tables, and
waited around for more orders. My heart
swelled a little upon bearing witness to a small, but meaningful sacrifice—this
act of kindness and love—and it thoroughly made an impression on me.
Friends aren’t necessarily the people at the party. They’re the after-party people, willing and
ready to serve in their new dresses in whatever capacity they are called.
In the old saying, everyone in your life is a branch, or a
leaf, or a root. Mostly everyone is a
leaf, not everyone is a branch, and time will reveal the roots in your
life. Hold fast to them and let everyone
else go. Don’t sweat the leaves that are
sure to fall away, because that’s energy wasted that should be spent at an
after-party in a cardigan and heels with roots.
