Day 348

It seems like so long ago that I received this encouragement
from my friends for reaching Day 100 of my One Year Challenge.

Nineteen—19!—days.

That is insane.  Clearly, the biggest accomplishment of my life.

Some people win Nobel Prize.  Others run for President.  And still some are queens, college graduates, and newlyweds.  The list goes on, and the spectrum of accomplishments is a wide one.  But this—this is mine.  This is my gift from God.

I first noticed boys when I was in the third grade.

When I was 12, I lied about having a boyfriend.

When I was 14, I experienced my first kiss, my first love, and my first heartbreak.

When I was 16, I met my high school sweetheart.
When I was 19, I cheated because just one wasn’t enough.

At 21, I moved 2,000 miles to be with the next-best-thing.
Until I met the next next-best-thing, and was engaged at 22.

At 24, I dated my first “Christian.”

At 26, I found the truest love of my life, then said goodbye to him…

…all because I finally gave my heart to a man who said, “No more.”

No more sex, because that’s not you.

No more pining, because that’s not you.

No more desperation, because that’s not my daughter.

No more looking for love…because I love you.

I love you with a love greater than you could ever fathom.  My love is true and real and for everything your heart has been seeking.  I designed your heart.  I designed all of you, every part.  I created you, personally invited you into the world.  I have intimately asked to love you, to be loved by you.  I adore you, my daughter. Your light brown eyes that look upon my sky, your brown hair fashioned from that of your parents.  Your fingers skimming so quickly across the keyboard.  Your mind that composes.  Your laugh, like music to My ears.  I created you.  I enjoy you.  I laugh with you.  I cry with you.  And though you may not feel Me, I hold you.  I hold you so tightly.

You came to Me.  I’ve waited for this day, don’t you know?  I was there when you were born.  I was there when your grandmother died.  I was there every moment of hurt when the bullies called you names and spit in your hair.  Every bus ride, I was beside you.  I was there when he shattered the Christmas tree.  I was there when he lied, when he shunned you.  I was there when the rumors were spread.  I was there when she confessed.  I was there when he hit you.  I was there when you were strangled.  I was there for every snide remark, for every day he cut you down.  I was in the quiet when the results were received.  I was with you in the loss.  For the heartattack.  In your hospital room.  I was there.

I was there and have been there every moment of your life.  I’ve always been there, merely waiting for you.

You’re mine.

Four years ago, I learned about God.  Three years ago He declared I was His.  Two years ago, I fought against Him.  A year ago, I gave up, gave in, and made the wisest, most difficult decision to die to myself faithfully and to follow Him.

This has been a year filled with sanctification and opportunities to personally and vividly experience His glory, His wide love.

Let Him love you.

Four words that in four years have eternally changed my life—a life that will now live on as a living sacrifice for all He’s done, because, oh, how He loves us so.

Nineteen days left.  Three-hundred forty-seven days in.  Four years of knowing Him.  Twenty-seven years of Him fighting for my love.  An eternity of loving me.  And an eternity in which to love Him back.

What beauty is it that the sum of my life and the truth of my eternity is condensed into but a simple entry.  What magnificent wonder it is that an eternity is made up into so few words.  He holds all of my eternity in His hands.  And I’ve only begun to live.  What joys awaits eternity, only my Redeemer knows.

My Redeemer. My Father.  My Savior.  My Lord.  My King.  My Shepherd.  My Lover.  My Provider.  My Love worth worship.  My ever-constant companion.

Ever constant.  Ever mine.

Ever His.