That one percent makes a difference.
The last few months have been the best of my life. I’ve found myself enveloped by the love of friends I never anticipated I would have.
I look at my calendar over the last two months. Overjoyed by the fullness of my life, I smile. Dinners out at Jason’s Deli and Newk’s, Christmas lights and nutcrackers. But in this joy, there’s also a sadness. Coffee dates I couldn’t make or messages I never found the energy to return. For every one friend with whom I spent time, there was one friend I couldn’t. A 1:1 ratio.
That’s a lot of apologies. I’ve been struggling to make time for everyone, and still haven’t been successful.
Earlier this year I spent one night out and six in. Just this last quarter, I’ve spent six out and one in—if I’m lucky. At an average, I have at least 20 new people in my life. Math time—if I spent one night a week with a friend, plus other engagements I had—dinners with other friends, work meetings, Sunday night groups, parties—it equals a pretty full calendar.
And while the extravert in me is shouting, “Play!” the introvert is crying, “Pause!”
It been months since I’ve had some “me” time.
This is where that one percent makes a difference. Exhaustion is setting in.
That is why when Christmas rolled around, nothing made me happier than sitting on my couch, curled up with my dogs and a movie. This is the unwinding time I’ve needed so badly. Mentally, I just feel so much better, recharged.
There have been a lot of friends I’ve disappointed within the last few weeks. And I’m sorry. I’m struggling to find balance—between the extravert and introvert. Please just give me grace as I learn how to find it, and don’t give up on me!
