Hoodoo. Hoodoo magic
only works on those who believe in its power.
Those who don’t are not affected by its magic. Two practitioners set their sights on Kate,
and we watch as she is eventually
swallowed by the same hoodoo she once dismissed as flagrant hocus pocus. The movie ends with them
revealing had she continued to not believe, she would have been untouchable.
Today, during Bryan’s sermon, I cried like I haven’t in a
long time. My soul stirred and my heart
found itself 2,000 miles away on the west coast.
In my vision, I saw my brother.
It was his junior year of high school that his teachers
and principal would come to my parents and tell them that something wasn’t
right. A darkness of sorts had overcome
him, and we were told either he “get help or be expelled.” My brother had written a Columbine-esque
letter.
Paranoid Schizophrenia was the diagnosis. He was 16 then, and now 24, he is still
battling as much as ever with this “personality disorder.”
Like a horse wearing blinders, all I could see this
February when I trekked home was the lack of love for Christ in my family. Like the principle in The Skeleton Key, the
love of Jesus can only save those who believe.
I gave no thought to demons, because my view was on only Jesus. My only concern was that they believe in Him. Simultaneously, I also subconsciously believed, Okay, if my family doesn’t believe in Christ, then they can’t be
plagued by demons. It’s a two way
street. You can’t have one without the
other. Right?
Wrong.
And I realized that today when Bryan began to share Matthew 17:14-21.
Unlike Jesus, demons, no…demons need no invitation. They creep into our lives in the most subtle
of ways and tear us down from the inside.
And as he continued with his sermon, my sobs grew, swallowing me entirely. His words brought me back to a
month ago, and I felt a sharp pain in my chest.
My father and I were driving, and he spoke as we traveled along the city
streets.
Sometimes we’ll have the TV on one of those CSI shows, which we really
shouldn’t be watching, because they’re so dark.
If we’re watching them, and he sees something…it triggers something
in his mind. Something inside of him
changes. He says, ‘Why would a God let
such things happen to people? To
children? How could he? God is evil.
God doesn’t care. If He did, why
would He do this? There is no God. God doesn't exist.’
Those words of his echoed off the walls of my heart today
and I could barely breathe. Why would my
brother, who knows nothing of God, damn Him?
If this is truly just medical, and not spiritual, why would he speak of
God? He and I never went to church… We didn’t grow up knowing God… In fact, the first ever experience he had
with Him was when I took him to church last April. Besides that, he knows nothing…
And another memory hit me. Our family was in Santa Cruz last April,
and we stopped at a restaurant on the pier. While we waited for our food, we talked. Somehow for the first time I tried to talk to
my family about God. My brother sitting
across from me, I saw as his face darkened.
His mood was sullied and his eyes became blank. Sensing a shift in “personality,” I stopped
talking. I could see trouble casted in
the furrows of his brows. And out of
fear of triggering something I changed the topic entirely. The rest of the day was spent trying to pull
my brother out of a dark place that we assumed as a family was due to fatigue, having walked around the city all day.
As these memories replayed in my mind, the harsh reality came. It’s not just medical. Those who don’t believe in Jesus can be hurt
by the darkness. And because they have
no Savior, demons have free reign. I
think to myself what power is at work when a young man who knows NOTHING OF GOD
blames Him FOR EVERYTHING? How can he be
so angry at a God he has never known?
Paranoid Schizophrena.
Medical condition. Yes. Spiritial battle. Definitely.
This sent my mind spinning, and I couldn’t breathe. After the sermon I escaped to the bathroom,
because I was shaking. Every muscle in
my body was tense from this realization.
God removed the veil, and shattered my heart when I heard this:
“Then the disciples came to Jesus privately and said, ‘Why could we not
cast it out?’ He said to them, ‘Because of your little faith. For truly, I say
to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this
mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be
impossible for you.’”
In the pit of my stomach there is a door, and if I open
it, it would reveal that I don’t have faith in God. And God knows this. I don’t trust Him with my family. I don’t trust Him to save them. I don’t trust Him with my brother. I’ve internally given up on my brother,
accepting that this is who he is and nothing I can do will save him, and that
God will do nothing to save him.
Ye of little faith, I hear Him say. You want to have faith, but there is no
trust. You don’t trust me with your
family and there is no such thing as fake faith.
How little faith must I have if I separate medicine and
God? I’m going to keep God in this
corner, but I won't have faith for healing Paranoid Schizophrenia, because there’s
nothing He can do. It’s medical, not spiritual.
My mind wrestles with reconciling science and faith. Yes, he has this. Can he be touched by The Spirit? If he can be infiltrated by a demon, then can
angels wrestle, too?
Brother of mine, I wept for you today. For how the world has failed you. For how I have failed you. And for how the Enemy has led you to believe that God has failed you. You are not a
Paranoid Schizophrenic. You are a child
of God. I pray for whatever is in you to
be cast out. I pray for joy to fill your
life. I pray for someone to come into
your life and show you Christ. I pray
that I can be a better light for you. I
pray that God has space to work His love into your heart, and that the darkness
that has taken you captive is removed.
God, let me have faith in YOU. Let me have faith in the healing power of
your love. Please save my brother. Please, I beg you, I beg you…save him, defeat
the Enemy within. You’re all powerful,
You make mountains move, You make demons shake, You wave them away without
saying a word. Take this from him. So desperately I pray that You heal him. I would take this burden from him if You let me. I would take it if it meant he could be free,
to experience Your love. I am faithless
and that is so ineffective. But You are
The Mighty, The Powerful, The Eternally Loving, and I pray that You take mercy
on him and fight for him as You fought for me. Don't let him die to this. Don't let him die like this...please. I will
fight if that's all it takes. I will find faith in You, if that's how.
Mind over matter?
God over both. Prevail. Prevail! PREVAIL AND CONQUER!
