You don’t get burned ’cause nothing gets
through
It makes it easier, easier on you
But that much more difficult for me
To make you see
Heart’s a Mess, Gotye
What is this blog?
This blog is where I write, process, and share whatever
God has me to share. It's not always
eloquent, but whatever I post is prayerfully posted. Not meaning that what I write is always
pretty, but meant to read by someone else.
This is very different from Twitter.
Twitter is a journaling of unedited, on-the-spot
thoughts. Negative, positive,
unnecessary, but there. Sometimes frivolous,
sometimes recording joy, and at times recording moments that need some type of
processing.
It's lately that I wonder if my writing is becoming a hindrance
to me. To friendships. To growth.
To living life outside of my computer screen.
What would I do if I just shut down? Shut this down? Shut Twitter down? Then what?
How would I process? Who would I
go to, to talk through life? Is this a
handicap or is it healing?
There's a lot of unexplained sadness in my heart
now. I'm wrestling with pieces of
myself, struggling to be healed and to overcome learned behaviors. But it takes time. It takes conscious effort to change these
things.
And, God, I feel so lost.
I don't even know what to pray for anymore. Here, there, where? Him, her, who? This, that, what? What do I need to be searching for, God? What
do I need to be praying for, God? How do
I need to be growing?
Listening to Priscilla Shirer Saturday night...God, every
sentence hit me deeply. What am I
enslaved to? What do I not know how to
say no to?
Maybe these social networking sites need to be put to
rest for a time. Maybe what once was an
aid is now a distraction and where introspection was helpful, maybe now it’s
turning into self-centeredness. It's not that they in themselves are harmful, but, maybe, maybe what I've let them become is.
And, God, as I end this tonight, I pray for
friendships. I pray for passion. I pray for growth, grace, and love. I pray for direction, for understanding, and
revelation. I pray for community. I pray for experiences. I pray for my heart. I pray to be seeking people and things
outside of myself. I pray for my heart
to be changed. And I pray to see and
experience a change in others.
Encouragement and loving kindness.
I pray for concern and I pray for connectedness. I pray for continued strength in my OYC and
for each of the girls I started this journey with… I pray that I’ll continue to chase after You.
I’ll be back in a week.
Pray for the best!
