Every day has its own challenges, accomplishments, joys
and trials. I am about a week away from
my three-month mark and it is just now that my strength is a little...weak.
I miss flirting. I
miss the butterflies. I miss someone
reaching out to hold my hand.
But I also know those things will mean so much more when
I step out of this challenge, free from the spirit of dependency and
selfishness. I know, as a sinner, I’ll
battle selfishness forever, but I hope that my dependency will find itself in
God’s hands alone and not on a man.
Until that point—until I can say, “God, I find my worth in You and You
alone”—any dating I could or would do would only be damaging to both me and the
other party.
A few weeks ago, I was asked some questions about the
OYC. I compiled a list of some that people have asked along the way.
These are great reminders for times like now, and my answers help remind
me of what will come from this journey.
Here we go.
Three hundred and
sixty-six days is a long time…what if someone asks you out?
In 2 months, no one has asked me out. Which is unusual, because it went from being a daily occurrence—albeit from men twice my age—to nada, zip, zilch. When I started this challenge I prayed that God would protect me, and He has done a great job of doing so, not only protecting me from random-come-ons, but giving me healthy doses of male friendship instead of unhealthy crushes.
In 2 months, no one has asked me out. Which is unusual, because it went from being a daily occurrence—albeit from men twice my age—to nada, zip, zilch. When I started this challenge I prayed that God would protect me, and He has done a great job of doing so, not only protecting me from random-come-ons, but giving me healthy doses of male friendship instead of unhealthy crushes.
What if you miss out on an opportunity?
God’s will is God’s will.
If He is to have me marry someone, my timeline doesn’t compute with His
work. I can’t change God’s will for my
life, and there is plenty of reassurance in trusting that.
What if you start liking someone?
God has really opened my eyes to see how failed crushes
and failed relationships pan out. If you
date someone and it doesn’t work out, you better be able to say goodbye to the
life you had with them and their friends.
The idea of losing the male friendships I have developed has helped me
keep my eye on November 6, 2012. These
friendships are so precious and I know God is teaching me so much through them
that it’s not worth the risk of liking (and therefore losing) any of them. God is protecting these relationships, and letting
me enjoy this developmental time, because I know when I’m married, these opposite-sex friendships will not possess the same depth they
do now.
Do you really expect to find the right guy
after this?
My expectation is that I will be in a healthy place—a place
with boundaries, standards, and direction.
I believe that I’m not going to settle for someone, and that I’m going
to find someone who loves me for who I really am. I expect that I will no longer change to
please men, but instead have invested in such a healthy relationship with
Christ that changes will be God-centered and not people-centered.
How do you expect your dating life to change
after this?
Dating will no longer be an idol. My self-worth will not be invested in
men. I will not date anyone just for the
sake of having a warm body next to me. As
a woman, I will not pursue men, initiating a relationship, but I will give them
encouragement to let them know where they stand with me. My dating life will never be Jamie-centered
again, or boy-centered, but God centered.
He’s going to guide my decisions, and I will know how to listen and be
obedient to His will.
