Well, here it is.
The obligatory End of 2011 post.
The other night Lindsay brought Faith over to watch a
movie. Faith, whose gift from God is
seeing directly into the hearts of others, knew I had been struggling.
Her advice?
Cry.
And it hit me tonight, just before 6:00.
And I cried. And I
wept. And I mourned.
Two-thousand eleven has been a life-changing year. The ultimate year of all twenty-six.
January – My heart was broken, and was given new eyes.
February – Began a Bible study with new friends.
March – Sparked new friendships and a new desire.
April – Visit to California; came home and fell away from
God.
May – Began an even darker period of my life.
June – The month I knew I needed Jesus and no one else could save me.
July – Celebrated my birthday and fell in love.
August – Unending doctors visits resulting in the
unlikely; saw Goo Goo Dolls and Michelle Branch in concert.
September – Saw Journey in concert; fell in love with
Gulf Shores, AL.
October – Lost a precious gift; began Connection Classes
at Fellowship.
November – Saw Gavin DeGraw in concert; God gave me
precious friendships; began OYC.
December – The most I’ve ever relied upon God.
I’d say December is a pretty good place to be right
now. God has spent the year changing my
life. Last year I prayed to Him to “create
in me a clean heart.” And this year I
was covered in dirt, in filth. My anger
raged, sadness has played on my heart, and why?
So God could create in a me an image of Him.
Face flush, warm with tears, I think back over all
the instances of this year where my heart broke, my hope collapsed, my prayers
were answered, and my love for God grew.
And am reminded of what I heard from a sermon at Fellowship
the beginning of this year.
“I’m sorry to say this, but I hope 2011 is the most
miserable year of your life…if it brings you back to God.”
I thought to myself, “Yeah, you tell ‘em, Bryan!” looking
around at the unwitting people beside me.
Little did I know God was speaking directly to me.
And as tonight ends—not with a neat, tidy bow, but
with blood, sweat, and tears bled, expelled, and spent being brought
back to Him—I wish for nothing less from 2012.
Happy New Year.
