Friday, November 18, 2011

Day 13

Jamie:                    Have you always been a Christian?
Friend:                   Since I was young.
Jamie:                    All your family Christian?
Friend:                   Yeah…your family?
Jamie:                    Nobody’s Christian in mine.
Friend:                   Wow. I respect that. I didn’t have to make any sacrifices to believe.

This is a conversation I had with a friend some time ago.

When he said it, the word sacrifice stabbed me in the heart.  Sacrifice?  No one had ever used that word to describe my family.  And it stung me, because I know there is truth to it.  Somewhere in my heart, I know this is a sacrifice that comes with following Christ.


Tonight I sat in the theater with my best friends, watching the ever-famous Twilight.  A ridiculous love story between a vampire and human, this movie held the weight of their wedding.

I read the saga a few summers ago.  With each book you’re an audience to the deepening love of Bella and Edward.  Nothing can keep them apart; no one can separate them from each other.  Bella is willing to sacrifice friends and family—and her very life—to be with the one she loves.

That’s a strong love.

When I watched her walked down the aisle tonight, I saw the pain in her eyes.  The confusion, the hurt, the fear of goodbye.  She held onto her father and walked with unsteady legs, realizing exactly what her decision meant.  Loving Edward meant saying goodbye.  It meant accepting that everyone she loved would eventually die while she would live on forever.  She wants to be with Edward, but what that means hurts her deeply.  As she and her father Charlie pause for a moment, she surveys the picture before her.  Wedding guests smile, and her stomach churns.  You wonder if she’ll make it to the altar.

And then she sees him.

At the end of the aisle is the love of her life.  And her eyes stay focused on him.  And just like that, she’s reminded of why she’s making the sacrifice.  While she loves her family very much, she knows the decision already cemented within her heart.

This is what loving God means to me.

I say goodbye to the life I knew.  Because I know at the end of the aisle is where I’m supposed to be.  With Him.  Forever.  As tormented as I am—leaving my world, my friends, my family—behind, I know The Truth in my heart.

And there you have it.  I cried at Twilight.  And not because of the cheesy love story, but because of the greatest love story in my life and what it means.

Note: You have to really know me to understand where my heart is now.  There is much this post does not reveal, and I truly wrote it for my own use, not for an audience.