Happy six months of singleness to me!
I have been waiting to say those words for months now,
because this is absolutely the most exciting time of my life and I am so happy
to be able to celebrate my obedience to God and His faithfulness.
I am prospect-free.
I am proposition-free. I am
free. And, truly, I am filled with joy
and the Spirit like I have never been before, and it's because of Christ that I
stand here today and say that.
The week leading up to my six month anniversary was an interesting
one.
God had been bringing relationships to the forefront of
my focus. Not romantic relationships,
but relationships of every kind.
Long term relationships.
Short term relationships.
Relationships that came to a premature end.
Relationships that weren't honoring.
Relationships that have been continuously honoring and
honorable.
Relationships that live but for four hours or for two
minutes.
Relationships affected by other relationships.
And I promise I wasn't expecting any of this to be
addressed when I stepped into church this morning. But what did God do through Bryan? Slapped me with some deep thoughts.
When I left my former church, I left the community
expecting to find something better. I
thought I could walk away and into something more holy, less messy, and more
loving.
I must've decided to ignore the fact that we're all
sinners, because a few months into the new church I was struck with a multitude
of struggling relationships.
Can I be friends
with this person without hurting this person?
This person dated
this person and they're not on good terms; which should I be friends with?
This person hurt
me; how can I avoid them?
I hurt this person;
how can I avoid them?
This person hurt
that person; I'm going to avoid the entire situation.
What started out as a fresh start didn't feel so fresh
once I started getting to know people and the relationships that had come and
gone, and—not ignoring my own sin—started adding my own hurtful situations
into the mix.
A mess. A complete
mess.
And it hurts. And
it sucks. And Bryan's right. A lot of it comes from not knowing how to
navigate through, around, and in sin.
People have hurt me.
I've hurt people. Friendships
have been compromised.
As Bryan finished the sermon today, I had a few people on
my heart that I wanted to reach out to and apologize. And I could see God pushing me in that
direction, because he brought two of those five people to me right after
service.
The first half of the OYC has been successful in pulling
me out of dependencies on men and relationships. And when I first started the challenge, my
only goal was to become a woman that a Godly man would want.
Now, months later, my goal is to become a Godly
woman. Because in that, there is a key
that can unlock all other possible doors.
What it means to be a good wife.
What it means to be a good friend.
What it means to be a good missionary.
What it means to LOVE.
How faithful is my love to Christ if I'm not faithful and
loving to His children?
Loving each other isn't always easy. In fact, it's pretty difficult.
But it's worth it.
Why?
Because being angry or hurt isn’t worth it.
It isn’t worth letting yourself hurt. Or damaging more relationships. Or disappointing God. And when I examine my hurt, the deeper issue
is pride and saying that I’m too important to be hurt. And I’m not important. Sorry, I’m really not.
Who I am is not more important than the love that should
be extended to my brothers and sisters.
Pride is not a worthy cost to separate me from my family
in Christ, which, consequently separates me from Christ Himself.
And, really, what is worth that?
Happy six months, Jamie...see you on the other side of six more months. Let’s do this!
