Something happened, and afterwards, I just kind of shrank
into a ball. Sometimes people hurt your
feelings. And many times they don’t
apologize. It’s the living with that
part of it that can be the hardest.
Maybe that’s why God is having me navigate through this seemingly eternal hurt that I’ve been battling with for almost two years.
If I can figure out how to move on from that completely
and fully, maybe all these little instances won’t affect my heart so much. I’m hoping that I’ll be able to rest so
completely in God it won’t matter who does me wrong. Ideally.
Not necessarily realistic, but it’s a good goal towards which to aim.
After work today, I drove home. Defeated, I curled up in my bed and tuned
into Pandora. I don’t remember what
station, but as I lay there, the cool voice of Marie Digby hummed in the
air. She sang an acoustic version of
Linkin Park’s What I’ve Done into which I nestled. I settled into the lyrics and prayed…prayed
for direction, for peace, for a light heart, for healing, for hope, and for
energy to meet tomorrow.
So let mercy come and wash away what I've done
I'll face myself to cross out what I've become
I'll face myself to cross out what I've become
Erase myself, and let go of what I've done
Put to rest what you thought of me
While I clean this slate with the hands of uncertainty
So let mercy come
I am so tired tonight. I’m praying for a better day tomorrow. Right now I’m emotionally blank.
