Day 66

Meet Caden.

He’s my imaginary son.  Yes, that’s right.  Imaginary.  Guys have fantasy football.  I have Caden.

Now, before you judge me, please understand that my coworkers and I are as goofy as they come.  So when one of them, a mother of a handsome 2 year old, received thisad, it seemed only natural for me to steal it.

Both of my coworkers have children.  And I get to experience the love of fiercely dedicated, loving mothers daily.

So for a day I pretended to be a mom.  And it was fun to play pretend.  Pretending is about all I can do, because, one, I'm not having children anytime soon, and, two, I have no experience with kids at all, whatsoever.

I’ve only recently had an opportunity to try out my maternal instincts and that came with the kids’ ministry at church.

On Christmas, I babysat infants, who stole my heart, but I felt completely useless around when they started crying.  When I sat with the five year olds on the Sunday after New Year’s, I didn’t feel quite as smitten until I felt a tug on my hand.

A beautiful little girl hugged my leg.

“I want my mommy.”

We were about an hour away from any mommies being seen.

“She’ll be here soon, sweetie,” I fibbed.

And with that, I sat down on the little stool, fully expecting her to walk away and sit on the mat with the other kids.

But instead she moved toward my lap, and when I picked her up, she nestled into my arms.

Smitten.  Completely.

I can’t honestly say at this point that I feel like God has plans for my body to have children.  But I do feel like there will be little ones somewhere in my future to love.  I’m just not sure in what capacity.  Maybe an adopted baby, maybe a neighbor’s kids, maybe a godmother…I don’t know.  I may not have a Caden now, but one day…maybe.