I don’t know if he’s saved or if he’s not. I don’t know if he’s single or if he’s not.
But I do know as I’ve begun to see him regularly over the
last few weeks, only in passing, that he is one of the few men who has been
kind to me.
I can tell by the way he looks at me—because, let’s face
it, as girls, sometimes we can tell—he’s, at the very least, attracted to
me. But he has never once made a tactless
comment, a bold icebreaker, or insinuated anything inappropriate in word or way.
A shy smile and a kind word.
Gentle.
Yesterday was a really terrible day. And even this morning I awoke, numb.
But even in the midst of this, God has been raising
me. Just a little bit, with little
things.
Tomorrow I will be attending a wedding. And I love weddings.
When I watch the bride walk toward the groom, I imagine
what happiness it must bring to have found someone with whom you want to
spend the rest of your life.
I look at the man at the end of aisle, almost in
awe. To see him commit, to love someone
so dearly, that he would choose to promise the rest of his life, literally
takes my breath away.
I imagine at some point he was gentle with her. I imagine the first dates, the butterflies,
the first kiss—everything that culminated to this moment. To this
kiss.
Tonight I watched The Notebook, and when Allie returns to
the Noah, the woman he has been seeing, who is a war widow, realizes what they
once had is over.
“I'd forgotten what it's like...for the first time since
I lost Richard, I feel like I've got something to look forward to,” she says,
her eyes teary.
And this is what weddings are for me. A reminder that love still exists. And that my story isn’t over. At the end of my life, I may look back, no
band on my left hand. Or, maybe, I will
belong to someone.
I don’t know, really.
All I do understand is that gentleness in a broken world is
underrated. And that maybe that is all
for which my heart longs.
And wherever this is found, there will be love.
Last night, Tony Evans, pastor of Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship and author, said, “Don’t
look for His plan—look for Him!”
And I see Him in those moments where gentleness is found.
