I know something has been changing in me because my reactions have changed...like with this slowing vehicle that was probably being driven by a guy looking at me while I walked my dogs.
I wasn’t in the mood. No chit chat. No cat calls. I wanted nothing to do with whoever was stalking me.
And as the truck passed—as it turns out, full of college-aged rednecks hanging out of the windows, gawking—I turned and gave them the dirtiest keep-driving-before-I-gouge-out-your-eyes look I could muster.
How is it that men can be so gross sometimes?
How is it that that’s they’re way of approaching the girl?
So much has changed since my view moved from the world to the Kingdom. So much, including how I see myself. Value.
Today at work, it was the same routine. Guys came in, being the old pervs they are, made inappropriate comments and stared just a minute too long in a place that was too low to be appropriate.
But something inside me was different. Instead of my mind saying, “You’re disgusting, the only men you attract are old, dirty pervs and that’s all you’re good for,” I was irritated. I was irritated and annoyed and instead I was thinking, “These guys are gross, and there is no excuse for their behavior, and I’m not a slut, they’re just disgusting. I’m not disgusting, these men are disgusting. And you know what else? They have made it so clear what I’m going to be looking for in the future.”
Not them.
I’m going to want a guy who gently pursues me. Who tells me I’m beautiful without lusting after me. Who cares about my thoughts and concerns. Who never makes me feel like an object.
Gentle. Unthreatening. Safe.
Those three adjectives go much deeper than I can explain tonight. I just know when I start dating again, my standards are going to be very, very different, because I’m very, very different, and every day I find out a little more of what I want and how I expect to be treated. And every day I look forward to meeting him just a little bit more.
Here’s to the men of the world who treat women with considerable care and never cross the boundaries that make them feel uncomfortable. You’re appreciated.
