Sunday, February 26, 2012

Day 113

If anyone were ever to come to me and ask me just what I think of Stockton, California, I wouldn’t be able to tell them fast enough what a terrible place it is.

There is little-to-no opportunity for anything.  Life is unaffordable.  Crime is rising.  Law enforcement is dwindling in numbers.  Schools are failing.

I would never in a million years suggest that anyone live in Stockton.

With that being said, I find it difficult to believe that this has been one of the most extraordinary weeks of my life.

I’ve enjoyed being home…in Stockton.


I’ve enjoyed seeing friends from high school.  I like being less than two hours away from San Francisco.  I love being near my family.  I love reconnecting with old friends.  I’ve enjoyed the vast diversity of cultures here.

In pushing away so much of my past I pushed away memories of some of the good things.

And for as long as I’ve been a Christian I’ve looked at Stockton with my nose turned up, saying, “There’s no God in this city.”

Sitting in church today, I felt God there.  Moving.  Just because I hadn’t felt Him before while living in Stockton, I was making the unfair assumption that nobody else knew Him either.

I watched the people around me while they sang.  All types of Asians.  Mexicans.  Different socioeconomic classes of white.  All singing together.

I met a couple today.  Russ and Tracy.  By the pastor, we were told to rate ourselves on a scale of how close to God we really were…Russ looked at me, a complete stranger, and admitted he had only been at a ‘2’, putting on the mask of busy-ness.  He told a stranger, honestly, where he was in his walk with Christ.  How many people in the Bible Belt would admit the same?  Claiming myself to be at a ‘6’ I was even embarrassed to say that number outloud.

So within this week I’ve discovered much...about this city, about the people in it, about myself.

What I haven't discovered yet is...where do I go from here, God?