All men want is
sex.
He’s a man, he only
wants one thing.
The way to a man’s
heart is through his pants.
Women have strong convictions about the male
population, and we could go on and on
and on about men and what’s wrong with them.
But tonight, I’m talking to us girls.
We can point fingers at men and blame them for who we
believe them to be, or we can be first to take responsibility
for what we have become. Women ache to be
loved. We yearn to be known
intimately. And when this is left
unfulfilled, we fill this void with what feels like the next best thing.
Sex.
Men look at us.
Men objectify us. And we want it. We ask
for them to do it, because if it remotely feels like love—or even if we just feel like it could lead to it—we want that.
Resigning to our culture, to mask the desire for love, we embrace being
sexual. We use sex appeal to draw men
in, and we use sex to suffice as a carbon copy of what we really want. Andy Stanley
says this:
If in your dating you
get in the habit of being treated like a commodity, guess what's going to
happen when you're married? Your
husband's going to do the same thing. If
he dated you like a commodity, he's going to treat you like a commodity. You should have no tolerance for being
treated like a commodity—none at all...and ladies, just a little tip from the world of fishing. Do you know how a fisherman determines what to bait his hook with? What he's fishing for. If you fish with your body, you're going to catch body snatchers. Every. Single.
Time! And this is what you're going to say, 'All men are alike, all men are
alike.' And I'm going to tell you now
what I tell young ladies when they tell me that, I say, 'No, not all men are
alike, all the men YOU date are alike.'
Let's take the last ten guys you've dated, and let's look at those. There was him and you, him and you, him and
you, him and you, him and you...what is the common denominator on all those
dates? That would be you! You are so much more than a body. Save the body for later.
Do you really want a man who only keeps you because of
the sex?
Do you really want a man whose “love” is invested in your
looks?
What happens when he finds someone more beautiful? What happens when another sexually
provocative woman evokes him? Then where
do you stand?
Instead, don't you desire to be loved for who you are
at your core? And not a
performance? Not for a
high? But to be deeply and intimately loved?
We use sex to get love, but sex doesn’t get us love. Sex takes from us the ability to love and
instead fills us with a selfish desire, whether you’re concerned about
satisfying your partner—which is a selfish act in trying to keep them wanting
you—or whether you’re trying to fulfill yourself.
God made women to be relational, and because of this at the core of every woman is the desire to be
loved. And it’s a lie we believe that something is better than nothing.
Something is not better than nothing if you get that
something by way of sex. Because
eventually, that something is bound to vanish, leaving you with nothing anyway.
And in the end we feel emptier than when we first began, and
the search continues for the next high.
And when that high is over, we’ve created this cycle, where we rise
higher, then fall deeper, and it keeps going—our lives driven by the desire to
just be loved.
Let us protect our hearts by protecting our bodies. A man will love you for more than just what is
underneath your clothes. And he will
honor you.
But not before you honor yourself.
You need a sexual budget, you need a body budget. You need to decide ahead of time what will I
not do and what will I spend and not spend with my body when it comes to
relationships. You need to pre-decide,
and when the temptation comes along, you say, 'I already decided that I don't
do that, I don't go there...I don't spend the night, I don't sleep over. I pre-decided. And as big a sacrifice as that might feel like
now...giving up something now for something better later, it's
not a sacrifice...it's a what? Listen,
single people, when you decide to set sexual and moral standards, every time
you apply those standards, you are investing in a future relationship. Every single time you say no, you're saying
yes. Every time you feel
like you're making a sacrifice, you're making an investment. In whose future? Your future.—Andy Stanley
Men: Listen to the second sermon – The
Gentleman’s Code.
