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| 2008--Christmas was the last thing I wanted to think about. |
My first Christmas alone was at the end of 2008.
Two months prior I had ended an engagement, so the family
I had known was no more. My own family
was 2,000 miles away in California. My
best friend, who had been within driving distance at Tulane for her degree, had
moved back to the west coast after graduating.
And I was not saved then so I had no church family. Other friends had invited me into their homes,
but spending Christmas with another person’s family would have taken more
energy than I was willing to spend.
And so I hung out by myself.
That was the longest day of my life.
After calling my family and my friends, I curled up in
front of the tree. And cried. Alone on Christmas. Stereotypical all-American Christmas Day tragedy, right? I stared at the bulbs alit on the branches of my tree and wondered why I was meant to be alone.
And three years later, I feel like I know.
It’s so that when I arrived here—at this time in my
life—December 24th, 2011, that there would be no mistake seeing from where I’ve
come and where I am now.
In 2008, on that day I spent by myself, I wished desperately
for a family of my own with whom to spend Christmas. Now, 2011, on this night, I am so thankful
for all I have.
Throughout 2011, I desperately prayed for friendships. I began the year with four, ended the summer
with two, and went through the fall lonely.
As the months continued, God decided to bring some 30 new people into my
life all at once.
Since the end of October, I have spent every day with someone.
He not only answered my prayer from 2008—my wish for a
family at Christmastime—but He did one better. He gave me one for life.
Instead of having one
day a year where I’m gathered with family, the last two months have been spent gathered with people I have come to love
very much and who love me. Forget about
the gifts, forget about food, and forget about football. But remember family.
Every day has been, and is, a celebration of the family I have found in Christ. He is my Savior, my Redeemer, and He has very much redeemed that lonely place in my heart by adopting me into His family. And I am more thankful for that than I can ever express through words, or gifts, or human emotion. I am so grateful to Him and so thankful for my “now” and my “then.”
So as I turn off the lights and crawl into bed tonight, I
may be alone, but no, I am not lonely. I am the furthest thing from it.
